The past few days – or rather, the past few weeks – have felt like a standstill.
And as a Sagittarius, I do not cope particularly well with staying still.
So I think, search, and look for ways to move forward.
On the one hand, I know I am meant to trust the process. On the other, my nature and my impatience struggle with the feeling that nothing is happening… or rather, nothing is happening according to my plan.
Of course. How else could it be?
For the past few months, I had been living with the belief that these were my final weeks in this house. That my new path was waiting just around the corner: writing, creating, freedom. And now, suddenly, I have to step backwards. Back into a different version of the story – one I thought I had already left behind… and it hurts.
So I am standing still.
In uncertainty.
In a reality I had already stopped living in for a while – because I had run ahead. Because, in my mind, I was already several steps beyond what is actually here.
Looking for answers, I turn on YouTube with the intention of receiving a sign.
And I find a song by Solpulse: “Just Let It Be.”
It took me three listens to truly hear it, because I could not stop playing it.
That voice is already familiar in my mind, repeating: “Just let it be.”
Do nothing.
Adapt to what is.
Be here, now.
That is all.
And yet, it is so much.
For me, as it turns out, it is a great deal.
I keep returning like a yo-yo to old patterns: control, fear…
But I also notice much more quickly where I am. And that is what I choose to focus on. I appreciate the fact that I can see what is happening, instead of judging myself for returning to those patterns.
Perhaps all of this happened because the moment I saw a little light, I began building another plan in my head. On my own. Step by step.
Perhaps I once again put trust to sleep beneath control.
And perhaps today, nothing needs to be improved, corrected, repaired, or changed.
Perhaps I simply need to be.
And allow this moment to live.
Not search so hard.
Just be.
Simply be.