Looking back now on the past several years – from the moment I planted the seed called “I don’t want to live this way,” to where I am today – and knowing how consistently I have been peeling back one layer after another, I can honestly say that I had no idea how hard it would be.
I did not know how deeply I would want to reach myself.
Or how far away from myself I had become.
Today, I found myself thinking about the biblical mustard seed.
If you plant it with the intention that it will grow, it will keep growing. Steadily.
I had no idea how many situations could unfold – illogical, painful, completely beyond anything I could have imagined.
And yet today, I feel a sense of fulfilment and gratitude for every single day of the past six years.
Six years ago, it would never have occurred to me that I would be writing a blog, even though the signs had been there before.
The thought that I would not only write it, but also promote it myself on social media – that I would allow myself to be seen at all – felt impossible.
And today, I am doing it.
It still does not feel entirely natural to me.
I do not have a strategy, and I do not really understand how posts, reels, or carousels work. Every publication is a challenge – an attempt to create the simplest version I can.
But there is one thing I know.
I did not walk this path in order to exhaust myself.
I walked it so that I could live. So that I could be there for myself.
And so that what is growing within me would not serve only me.
Because meaning begins to appear when we start sharing what is true within us.