It has been six years since I made the decision that I no longer wanted to live this way.
On autopilot.
Trapped in patterns and beliefs that were never truly mine.
Back then, I did not know what I wanted.
But I knew one thing: I wanted to be free.
Not only financially.
Most of all, free from everything I was told I “should” be.
Even then, I felt that I was here for something more.
Not simply to drift through life.
What I did not know was that I was opening Pandora’s box.
I did not realise how far away from myself I had become.
I did not see myself as an individual, but through the roles I played and the masks I wore.
I would say one thing, do another, and think something else entirely.
I would fall just when I thought I had finally reached the top.
Over the years, I explored many different paths and tools.
Therapy, hypnosis, Radical Forgiveness, a solitary walking pilgrimage, and other practices that still support me today.
But for a long time, it was all about learning. Searching. Trying to fix myself.
The past year was different.
Only now can I see it clearly.
It was no longer a year of learning.
It was a year of practice.
Of putting into action everything I had learned in the years before.
Setting boundaries.
Saying “no.”
Listening to my body.
Choosing myself, even when it hurt.
And that was the hardest stage.
Because it was no longer theory.
It was life.
Today, I can see that it was a year of building foundations.
My own inner foundations.
And then came acceptance.
Without judging the falls, the shadows, or the mistakes.
With gratitude for everything that brought me exactly where I am today.
Now I feel at peace.
Not because everything is perfect.
But because I have stopped fighting myself.
And more and more often, I hear myself saying out loud:
I have the home I once prayed for.
Not a building.
An inner home.
Filled with warmth, love, and peace.